Ben is a successful executive who enjoys music and singing. He is also a family man with a wife and three children who are all musical in some way. Together, Ben, his wife and children have accomplished many endeavors over the years individually and as a family unit  – endeavors they are very proud of.

Some time ago, Ben went in to work and was told that it was his last day.
At first he was stunned. His wife shed some tears. Later, after the initial blow to the family and the questions that swirled about, they did what many in similar positions must do – they embarked on a new path.

Embarking on a new path meant that Ben had to do some soul searching. That meant answering a lot of questions about who he was, who he is and who he wanted to be as he moved forward in his life and specifically career. He questioned what choices he wanted to make now that he had been put in a position he did not choose to be in.

It has been a good while since this happened to Ben and his family. You might be surprised by the revelations Ben has had since that fateful day.
He decided to probe his thought processes during the years just prior to being ‘let go’ and as he put it, “be brutally honest with myself”. He was surprised to find that he was subconsciously preparing to move in a new direction months before he left.

Over the years he recalled, his passion for music and singing had not subsided. In fact it continued to flourish. In his spare time he spent hours rehearsing for fundraising events at which he performed and thoroughly enjoyed.
He realized that as much as he was seriously engaged, dedicated and productive in his executive career, part of him and his thought process would be on music and performing. In fact, over the years he had been slowly purchasing expensive audio/electronic equipment and often times by chance, began connecting more and more with people who were involved in the music industry.

-A question you might ask is – was he subconsciously preparing for a new beginning and a somewhat new direction?
-What did he truly want?
-What is Ben doing now?

Today Ben is doing all the things he loves. He is working at a job that engages his specific expertise in business and at the same time lends him the space and time to nourish and reap the rewards of a passion that wouldn’t let go.
When asked, “What do you think the future holds?” the response is, “It looks promising!”

~What is your subconscious telling you?

~Lesia S.

~Are you enjoying success?

~Is success all about ‘the climb’?

Miley Cyrus sings about one’s journey in life or ‘the climb’ in one of her latest songs. She sings, “there’s always gonna be another mountain….aint about how fast I get there, aint about what’s waiting on the other side, it’s the climb”, and many of you have heard the adage about success being the journey, not the destination.

How do you perceive success?
How has your climb proven to be successful?
How hard or easy is it for you to recognize your successes?
What makes your success different from someone else’s?
What makes your personal journey unique?

Have you ever thought about what makes up a personal journey?

Is it what you see and how you see it?
How you feel and how you want to feel?
How you think?
What you want and how much you want it?
What you do and when you do it?
All of the above?
What else…?

~It’s your climb and your success, then what would stop you from making it your intention to recognize and savor every well-earned moment of each and every personal success and use those celebratory moments to nourish and fuel your soul as you venture ahead?

Harold V. Melchert said it well –

Live your life each day, as you would climb a mountain.
An occasional glance toward the summit keeps the goal in mind,
But many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point.
Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment;
And the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey.

~Lesia S.

~ If you want what you’ve never had,
Then you must do what you’ve never done ~

~Lesia S.

What do you endeavor to do or to be and with how much passion?

The first part of that question when clearly and firmly defined is the first crucial step in the pursuit of that endeavor.

What is your endeavor?

To be happy again – What exactly does that mean?
Land a rewarding job that fits my lifestyle – What is your lifestyle?
Master a skill – What will that bring?
Conquer a struggle with weight – What will happen if you do?
Be the first person to…
Attain a career objective?
Win a scholarship?
Run the Boston Marathon?

Whatever the magnitude of your endeavor, knowing exactly what it is, wanting it and imprinting it in your mind, is one battle won. The next battle is becoming aware of the implications of actually succeeding. What will it bring? How will you feel?

The second half of the question is about the fuel or passion that will fire up your engine, the engine that will ultimately drive you to your destination or to succeed in your chosen endeavor.

But what is your fuel, your motivation?
Where will you get that fuel?
How do you assure that you will not run out of fuel before you reach your destination?
What do you think will determine how long it will take to get there?

Whether you wish to be the best person you can be, the best athlete or the best in your profession, the success of each endeavor however large or small, rests upon and will be the result of how much you want it and are prepared to reach and keep learning until you achieve it.

Success need not take as long as you may think.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I invite you to fire up your engines!

~Lesia S.

THE HARDER THE CONFLICT, THE MORE GLORIOUS THE TRIUMPH.

WHAT WE ATTAIN TOO CHEAPLY, WE ESTEEM TOO LIGHTLY;

IT IS ADVERSITY THAT GIVES EVERYTHING ITS VALUE.

 

-         Thomas Payne

When asked to name a few things that she values Sheila replied, “My life, my family, my job, my shiny red mustang convertible, my house, my friends, taking vacations….

If you were asked the same question what would you say? What do you value?

How many of the things you truly value did you have to work for?

How hard were they to come by?

How much adversity did you have to endure?

Was what you attained worth the effort?

According to Sheila, nothing came easy. She struggled, stumbled, got up and stumbled again. Her relationships were volatile, little money in the bank and her vision of the future bleak. What she had in abundance was passion, will and courage. With professional support, conversation and guided process, she did a lot of soul searching and went through a great deal of personal growth, gained new insights into her life, forged ahead when she was in dire straits, took small steps and kept her attitude in check.

In a breakthrough moment, one that put it all in perspective for her, Sheila realized that she would not change a thing from her past. What she endured she feels provided her with the skills the wherewithal, the need, the ability to make informed choices and the vision to see, reach and achieve anything she decided and truly wanted. Sheila noticed that she attributed little value to the things that came too easily or were literally handed to her.

Sheila is a mature woman who now knows how to manage what ever life throws her way and feels that she will make mistakes but she will never fail because there are no failures only learning opportunities, challenges to overcome and potentially that much more to value.

Sheila is an inspiration and a success in her own right.

~Lesia S.

“I FEEL LIKE NOBODY REALLY UNDERSTANDS ME AND I AM SO TIRED OF PLATITUDES AND ADAGES…YEAH RIGHT, THINK POSITIVE…”

John, an intelligent, hard-working, passionate man and personal coaching client quoted above, has been searching for answers to quandaries in his personal life and specifically within his personal and business relationships. He says that deep in his heart he has not been happy or fulfilled and feels angry as a result. Among other things, reading an enormous amount of literature and listening to notable speakers, friends and family share their wisdom on the betterment of life and specifically relationships, for him, has turned out to be more of a source of frustration and anger. He recognizes and is working on becoming more aware of what has specifically fueled his anger and how to take action to resolve it. In the process he has come to a “striking revelation” that what he frequently does, numerous times each day, is use sarcasm and make judgmental remarks about people in his life as well as himself.  He has decided to make it his intention to curb the sarcasm and judgment – something he now notices does not help him become the person he is striving to be and does not evoke the communication he is searching for in his relationships.

John is not alone. Anger, frustration, overuse of sarcasm and judging, often go hand in hand. Taking action is a key to creating more awareness and change.

A few questions to think about:
What are sarcastic or judgmental remarks?
How is excessive use of sarcasm and making value judgments damaging or putting strain on your relationships?
How do you feel when someone says to you or you think to yourself – “You should have done it this way, but you know everything” Or “That was a really smart thing to do, now you’ve really screwed up!” or “I’m such a moron, I don’t deserve to be happy!”
How often do you make similar comments in your everyday thinking and conversations with others?
What, if anything, is driving you to make demeaning or negative remarks about events, other people or yourself?
In what specific ways can it benefit you to manage it?
How could you make your point without the use of sarcasm or unnecessary judgment?
How do you think managing these kinds of remarks can improve how you feel about yourself, how people perceive you and how you perceive and communicate with others?
How willing are you to notice how you speak to and think about both yourself and other people?
Who can help you answer these questions, take steps and make changes?

After giving theses questions some thought and if you are so inclined, give it a whirl and see what you get. Once you begin to manage the ‘S and J’s,’ it will be interesting to see what transformations take place day to day.
It may not be easy at first but the payoff will be well worth the effort.

~Lesia S.

What is ‘it’?
It’s whatever pops into your head in the next few minutes.
It is what has been at the back of your mind that jumps to the front when you think about it a little.
It is what may be keeping you up at night.
It is perhaps what comes up in your conversations.
It is something you know would be good for you.
It is what may bring you fulfillment and happiness.
It is doing what you don’t want to say you should have done.

The ‘it’ can be anything:

Tell someone what you’ve wanted to say for a while.
Repair what needs fixing.
Move to finish what you started.
Confront what you’ve been avoiding.
Call for the help you want.
Make the change you’ve wanted to make.
Sign up to learn a new skill.
Take a leap of faith.
Smile more
Complain less
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Look at something from a new perspective.
See someone in a new light.
Practice what you preach.
Take the first step to break a habit.
Change an undesirable behavior.
Act on a dream.
Do what you fear.
Stand up for yourself.
Let someone off the hook.
Take a walk on the wild side.
Tame the wild side…

So what’s popping into your head?
What have you chosen to do today?

If you are one of the brave ones who decide to act on something today, remember to  celebrate your courage.

~Lesia S.

Will you give me something for my cold?
Why should I? I already have a cold.

Wanna fly?
Sure.
Wait a second – I’ll catch one for you.

It is seldom as obvious or humorous when you misinterpret someone’s words and draw your own conclusions without taking the extra step to get some clarification.

~Lesia S.

Life may sometimes feel like you’re on a horse riding fast and furiously along a narrow path that divides dense forest. Every so often there are breaks of open spaces and then more forest.  Metaphorically it might feel like you’re riding away from your past toward a future you hope will be worth the journey. The deep dense forest shields you from what lies ahead and makes you focus on the path before you. You continue to ride when suddenly you come upon fallen trees and brush strewn across your path. It forces you to ‘hold’ your horse and assess your options. What are your options at this point? Perhaps finding an alternate route is one or getting off your horse and clearing away some of the debris, might be another. You may decide to backtrack or wait for someone to come and help you create a clearing.

It’s easy to lament the past or worry and be anxious about the future but how do you manage the present?
What does the present hold for you? Where are you on your path? If your present symbolizes a barrier – perhaps one which is made up of feeling stuck at a crossroad in your personal or professional life or having a difficult decision to contend with or feeling anxious about future prospects or many other issues that arise over time – how do you manage to clear the way?

Look at the present as a 24hour period of time. How much of that time do you spend sleeping? Subtract your sleep time from 24 and that leaves you with x hours to work with.
How do you use this time productively? What if you were to make a list detailing all the things that have been preoccupying your thoughts, for example, procrastination, overcoming a habit, conquering a weight issue, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like you have too many unanswered questions that you want answered, confronted with a serious decision and so on…. What one thing on your list is the biggest stumbling block for you at this time, one that stops you from moving ahead in the direction you wish to go? In what direction do you wish to go? What makes you want to go there?
Once you’ve chosen one, decide on how much of x amount of time you would like to spend taking the steps necessary to “clear the way” and begin. This may mean talking to someone in search of answers or it may mean unpacking one of the many unpacked boxes…
What ever it is, even overwhelming situations or projects can be resolved or managed when divided into small ‘doable’ actions one step at a time on your own or with someone’s help.
Even the deepest, most dense brush can be cleared away in small sections at a time.

How do you think you will feel when you spend today and each day hereafter in the present clearing the way to the future you want?

Picture yourself, once again, riding fast and furiously on a horse, this time through a sparse forest with the suns rays shining through and then across a vast airy plain with rolling hills. You arrive at a ridge, stop and get off your horse. You take a slow sip of cleansing water and feast your eyes on a spectacular view, one that bestows you with serenity, peace and a sense of accomplishment.

~Lesia S.

How do you define trust?
How do you think lacking trust in yourself and in others can affect your day-to-day relationships?

Marty manages a department of employees and is having trouble motivating his staff to produce to the level he would like to see. Marty feels he has great rapport with each employee and regards them as people with a lot of potential if they put all their efforts into their work.
On any given day, Marty assigns specific people to different tasks. At some point during the day he walks around and asks if anyone needs any assistance and how things are coming along. He offers suggestions on how he would go about doing some of the tasks and shares some of his own operating techniques with them and the outcomes he experienced as a result, in hopes of motivating the staff to achieve similar outcomes and at the same time help them avoid mistakes that were made.

If you were in Marty’s shoes and wanted to motivate your department staff, what would you do differently?

As the employee, how could Marty best motivate you?

What role does trust play in this situation?

In what way is Marty possibly sabotaging new opportunities for growth and new learning for himself, his staff and the business?

K.G. Mills once defined trust as “Never looking back onto suggestion and never looking ahead to find a problem”.

How would you rate your level of trust?

~Lesia S.